When I finally saw you I joined the chorus of Angels singing: She is the precious one, She is the beautiful one, She is the one who dances with fire and not afraid of deep water She is the one who makes love to owls and let them make love to her in their screechy ways She weeps her tears alone and gives her joy to strangers she is a strong one ready to come undone She is yours and belongs to no one She is a daughter of the bright moon, mystery of the naked forest.. Her name is always arriving on my lips- her secret in the making.. while her Soul entered a long time ago- my dreams.. Her heart, burns hot beckoning her beloved to cross the road to find His way to her across the dark Night across the blinding Light.. across... as Angels sing: She is the beautiful one She is the precious one She is the one who dances with fire and not afraid of deep water… ----- How do you know? How do you know anything? How do you know the beauty of your Beloved’s heart? Obscured by gentle petals You carefully lift one at a time with your breath, little frog’s tongue or your eyelashes gently lift her beauty to the centre of your love to the honeyed core of her bliss which is your bliss shared now in sweet innocence of silence, the delicacy of Gods. How do you know? How do you know the beauty of your own heart? throbbing in your chest obscured by blind eyes of the night like a treasure tucked away by owls, until the time her careful fingers, whispering lips and may be fluttering of her eyelashes begin one petal at a time undo, uncover, reveal the way to your nectar, to a hidden place hidden from you where there is music, music and dancing, a centre where you are naked like a child in a green field where you are surrendered without surrendering where your two hearts swell together like a waive and dissolve together like a waive while the Goddess smiles and kisses all the morning bees, one by one… ---------- My love is ancient Like this earth and young like a love of a wide eyed child or a tender and quiet love of a maiden in her palace of dreams.. it is like a River kissing every rock on her way loving everything is her way of knowing herself It is like a fire burning in my heart which teaches me to stand in the centre of my longing and not move a muscle My love is like a wind caressing the top branches of trees whispering to them about seductive worlds of possibilities and freedom of flight My love is like the earth holding me in her palms saying: love, love in any way you can make mistakes and learn but never pass an opportunity to love never let fear stop you let the child and a young woman and a man in you play with the River, with the wind and the fire.. on this ancient earth.. at this new time this is the whole reason why you are here.. ____ I longed to come to you naked Oh, Beloved but my nakedness was smeared in shame, disfigured I longed to feel your love but my heart seemed too small and frightened of its own beat I hungered and fought for crumbs with other greedy beggars only to come home with a gaping hole in my chest To pass for a clever one, I read books to impress you, sang you songs and danced by your windows, hoping that my song and dance will make me special in your eyes what a fool! time grew cold, my hunger hardened and my fatigue turned stale, like my songs what a fool! all I had to do was to look and see that your eyes were always loving, always looking.. all I had to do was to look out of my own loving eyes... ---- Queen of Spiders poem I am the Queen, the Queen of Spiders. I came here to this Earth to rule, to rule again to spin my Web of precious jewels, of Truth, of Beauty, of Love that is unlike any other in this entire Creation. I am here to call Soul upon Soul to join me in my wild dance again.. so that forgetting, again, will become remembering, separation- again will become joining, so that Palace of Great Mother is built again on this Earth, in your tired bodies, in your longing hearts.. I will spin my vast Net to cover continents and oceans mountains and valleys, all visible and invisible, Life and Death.. and I will cut and remove anything on my way that is not Beauty, not Love, not in sacred accord with my Spider Heart.. at times I will bring explosions of Bliss, at times I will unleash terrifying Destruction. Be brave Dear Souls, do not turn your face from either Then, Only then.. you will know in your bones your true belonging, your true love, your true purpose... in the Splendour of my Net of precious Jewels.. in the silence of my weaving... in the wild burning of my Heart.... --- |
One Heart
Is it true that there is only one heart, swelling in my chest and and yours? weighted by black earth, calling to descent into her silent depth where it nestles the whole Cosmos and the heart of God? is the same heart beating it’s ancient drum in the mighty chest of the Dragons who’s wings sometimes obscure the sun on their long flight to freedom? Do I also carry in me the wise heart of the Rock, in his thick silence, who embraces distant stars without reaching? and the River, whose heart is a liquid surrender, who touches and purifies everything on her path, who knows that even dirt is holly.. does she flow through me too? and what about the fire? red in the black of the night, my eternal companion who could never stop speaking to me about the Love of Spirit? When finding my own heart is no longer possible which the River, the Rock the Fire, the Earth and the Dragons now possess, took into their journeys back to the beginning of this vast and strange Creation, to when it first started, where my small heart and yours began their first beat, their first song.. where everything - big and small exists under one wing, in the same breath, in one pulse.. ---- Don’t brush your teeth Let them be brown from tobacco don’t be clean and pious let gritty Love enter you in your messiness let the Holly enter Through your Dirt! Smear yourself in your mistakes and run naked to the ocean, not to wash but to greet the One who is waiting to love your true face, with no pretences, no hiding in your smallness, in your shoulds, in your orderliness. The Beloved is ready to show you her Love of Chaos.. ------- Do not love your neighbour, Let yourself hate them first Do not try to be grateful or peaceful, or loving Abandon all trying Let Love enter at times- sweetly, at times-blissfully and at times- as rage, always raw always uninvited.. --- Fears knock at my door louder than garbage trucks on Tuesday morning, wake me up to life I’m afraid to live I would rather do a 1000 prostrations and say a million of prayers.. but my patient teacher says: the highest tantra is to be faithful to the truth of your life. even if it kills me ? —--
Your mind can never take you to Love but your heart can imagine just imagine -Love, imagine... this is what God did and look, what happened! --- Goddess speaks She seems to want me rage and scream in pain howl at the moon like a hungry dog. this is how her love manifest this is how she enters my heart this is how he teaches me to love this strange world .... She doesn’t just want my love or my beautiful understanding no matter how profound, on her alter.. She demands my pain to really know her! All your wounds are sacred Dear One, don’t try to lick them, hoping for a quick healing. Keep them raw, My Darling. This is where I enter This is how you join Me. --- One day you may discover that you yourself is Love an imperfect package as you may be.... ---- Owl woman If she comes to you you are in great trouble if she comes to you you are in great luck She knows Silence in her flight and in her love which may be too intense for a human Like a black cat with a dress of soft feathers s he wants to play with your body while keeping one steady eye on your Soul, never losing sight of her subterranean passage.. She is a Priestess who knows her place not out of pride, but because she knows her Power If she chose you as her Lover you know you are called to fly with her to the far reaches of your love, you are called to stand in the centre o f your longing to let the song you were afraid to sing break the seal of your lips and your throat, and definitely- your heart! This ancient voice, no matter how cracked, no matter how raw and obscured by centuries, only sounds once in the stillness of the round moon.. only once- in the fields of dark shifting shapes, only once, when the owl woman’s love is received. this song is old as this universe yet always new as this universe. it is always like death and always like birth it is yours to sing now you can almost hear it .. will you let it strip you to your bare bones? will you let new flesh grow and make your truth, your love visible? will you let yourself receive the love of the Owl woman, which is like no other love in this entire Creation... ----- Vision On a clear night Full of stars and thick fragrance of dry grass Come to the river bathing in the moon light Come alone whisper to her your vision Let your heart cry it out softly, Let your lips surprise you With how big and full of love It can be Let the river That has no ending Take it into her body Let the spider begin to weave Her patient web.. Then empty yourself Of all love and all visions Slowly start on the road of dying- The path of all sacred pilgrims Trust in the emptiness created by death.. Let yourself be loved By what is here now: By the cool and thick darkness, By the fragrance of dry grass, By the murmur of this endless river.. |
The Beloved is so playful One day she says- be virtuous, next day- sin a little don’t eat meat- one day, next day she sends me to buy a roasted chicken. She obviously likes to keep me on my toes: not knowing where the road is just walking bewildered, from moment to moment... This is how she wants her lover ---- I don't know tantra, I don't know kaballah- all I know is how to follow my heart, faithfully wherever it takes me to its very core to its dark depths.. This is all I know, This is my only wisdom. --- I know I will undress with you, my Darling! I will be naked screaming my shyness into the night, my bliss - into the dawn, my pain - into your heart.. and let myself be held by the flutter of your tender eyelashes Until your pain and your bliss smoothed by the lube of our love. two hearts meeting in the change room of eternity passing by… your dress hugging your hips, my fan -over my mouth.. you will break my heart, Darling! and I will break yours.. yet the dance goes on.. it goes on.. we’ll never exit but remain in the change room of God, meeting once-in-a-lifetime, forever and then again.. until our nakedness is all that is left, until our hearts are raw like bleeding rubies until Creator herself shed tears and starts applauding in the audience.. ---- Sit with me Beloved, we will look into each others eyes and search for Love that is in you and in me.. we will ask: what do we truly love? and we will not run away from answers. we will not answer with our minds steeped in lies ancient as they may be but still - only lies. we will not even answer with our hearts trained by fear ancient as it may be, but still- only fear. we will dig through our hearts all the way to the Heart of Great Mother In Her laughter we will hear the answer In Her delight we will know the Truth with Her tears we will come home.. sit with me, Oh Beloved. In the mirrors of our eyes in the silence of our hearts, New Love is being born: pristine, like white wedding cloth deep, like the Darkest Night fierce, like the Heart of Dragons burning red... --- Old Crone of Peru Kindness in her toothless grin Her hands knowing herbs, tobacco and a touch of wisdom. in the land where ancient spirits dwell In the rocks, wind and mountainous rivers where many civilizations came and went where one can be far away from the world But close to oneself to ancient mystery that wants to be known again Now Where Dragons can rest their wings on the mountains and their bellies-in the Valley of the Dead where my spirit can fly down the rushing mountain river Pushing against black mossy rocks Pouring itself into quiet pools rippled mirrors Reflecting endless skies Where a very old woman Sits by a smouldering fire Dreaming her silent dreams Watching eagles soar above drifting clouds Alone But joined with everything Being of one cloth with nature, spirit and her songs She humms to herself To her children, and their children .. to Spirit She lets this valley and sky Comfort her Like no human could Comfort and hold her In her deepest love, in her Soul She moves slowly letting herself be touched By trees, rocks, small children and quick snakes She doesn’t compromise anymore with anyone not with her Soul She lets her soul move her- this way and that As she sings her songs of gratitude Of love Softly In her cracked voice She lets everything old and stale die there Is not much new being born inside her But she still sings her birthing songs every morning To the rising sun warming up her old bones.. ----- The Crone she walks on the earth barefoot she lets her feet bleed a little over broken shards, her heart bleed a little, over shards of her destiny, places where black ravens sometimes peck at her memories. she walks the earth unguarded, unprotected, knowing in her wisdom that any protection no matter how justified makes her a little smaller a little more stooped, makes her voice a little more reticent, while truly, as the dawn warms her old bones and the night mist begins to retreat, revealing vast shapes of the land, her heart longs to break into the world with a song- raw, like bloody meat ravens like to eat, tender, like a smile, little babies smile in their sleep, precious, like tears of joy on the face of the Goddess. ---- In her bliss she speaks to stars in her pain she clutches to the wet earth this is how she loves this is how she is loved. --- The dance with God is a slow undressing like a striptease, when everything you hold precious, joy or pain is slowly removed one by one to His excited applause.. the lovemaking begins when you stand before Him absolutely naked.. ---- Sometimes you think you need to remove something from yourself sometimes you want to add something you don’t have this adding and subtraction is an old game small self plays not able to notice how full the cup is that simple perfection is here always at hand it is possible to hear the first rooster in the deep of the night and trust the sunrise it’s possible in full daylight to know the quiet glow of the Moon when you know them both the game of adding and subtracting can end. Then you can have your tea and your tobacco sitting with candle light and notice how complete this moment is how it has its modest wisdom and even a bit of magic how it is so easy here to bow to your life to bow to any life as it is to kneel on this eternal earth and stay kneeling not expecting to walk away and be somewhere else, to be someone else.. nothing more, nothing less.. |